Running a Creative Business and Imposter Syndrome
Suzanne Smedley
Who do you think you are? There is no way someone like you could do something like that!
I would like to say it gets easier, but one of my biggest struggles continues to be dealing with imposter syndrome. Where I doubt my achievements and believe someone is going to identify me as a complete fraud who has no right to be where I am.
A close friend and mentor of mine, Andrea Graham, has told me I need to celebrate the successes of Suzanne Elisabeth Jewellery, my creative business. I need to acknowledge them and be excited by how far I’ve come. But this is by no means easy. Even saying ‘my creative business’ feels like I am claiming something that is not mine to claim.
When someone new turns to me and asks the familiar, “So what is it that you do?”. I feel myself becoming awkward and even a bit embarrassed to say, “Well, I have a part-time ceramic jewellery business”. Perhaps it’s
because I fear they’ll think it’s laughable that someone like me could have any type of business. Or even worse, it’s because they’ll think I’m a tad delusional that I think I can make a living from a creative business in which I handmake what I sell, and that being ceramic jewellery no less! What if one of my biggest fears, that this is all a ridiculous life crisis that is sure to fail, is exposed by this person.
Yes, there are people who make incredible successes of their creative businesses, just scroll through Instagram and you’ll find them. But these must be people who really know what they’re doing, right? Whereas most of the time I feel like I’m trying to find my way through an intricate, cobbled maze, blind folded with high heels on, all the while smiling and pretending to be blissfully care-free.
Then there’s the harsh reality that smacks me in the face like a wet fish repeatedly (bear in mind I’m terrified of fish when you read that), that I’m not nearly as creative as those Instagram people. Yes, it is possible to make a success of your creative business, but the key is the name. You need to be creative, and you need to be able to run a business. This is where social media and the constant comparison you make between your reality and
someone else’s carefully curated portrayal of their reality, can really get you down. In fact, more than often, it can stop you in your tracks entirely.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is that it’s hard. And it’s important to acknowledge that. If you don’t, you’ll never get anywhere. If you can acknowledge something, you can then learn to work with it and even find solutions to move past it.
So, when I feel like I’m losing hope, I pause. I reflect. I take stock of some of the facts. And I actively give thanks for them. I then realise that, yes, while I am no where close to where I want to be, I am a lot further along this path than from where I started.